11 Minimalist Resolutions Every Gay Man Should
Consider for 2020
JANUARY 4, 2020 BY LEO HERRERA 25
After last year’s identity crisis of a New Year’s resolution list, 2020’s are gonna be easy, Mary. Personally, I’m just gonna try to make it through the year without getting deported by executive order.
Our challenge: Survive the catastrophes with some self-care and pride intact.
Every generation before us has dealt with the end of the world, but the social media landscape that has devoured our daily life affects us in ways that are unprecedented. There are already eerie similarities to the apocalypse of our previous generation, when a plague left us reeling with survivor guilt and fear for decades, as the government and homophobes were happy to watch us drown.
For my generation, our challenge is going to be not just surviving political and environmental catastrophes, but doing so with some semblance of self-care and pride.
Nobody takes shame to an art form like gay men
What I noticed most in 2019 was how gay men around me dealt so differently with the question of “what am I doing to help all of this?” For some folks, the magnitude of hopelessness and shame can leave us feeling stupid for trying to do small things, like decreasing single-use plastics. Or, we internalize it and lash out at others trying to do their part (I saw this most during our brief flirtation boycotting Equinox and SoulCycle).
The thing about shame is that it’s really just fear. Nobody takes shame to an art form like gay men and nobody makes dumber decisions than people who are afraid. So this year’s resolutions focus on small ways that we can self-care and ease a bit of that daily stress.
1. Read The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man’s World by Alan Downs.
Required reading for most gay men I know. Written by a therapist after spending way too many hours talking to our crazy asses. Try to find it at a gay bookstore if your city has any left. You’ll be surprised your oldest anxieties are shared by pretty much every gay man you know.
