Welcome…

Never before in history has there been a time when it was truly possible to live an open, visible life as a gay man like so many of us do today. Around the globe there is a growing acceptance of what it means to be a gay man. As exciting as this history making is, it has also put us in uncharted territory. We don’t have the traditions, the social structures or the mentors to show us the way as do other men in our various cultures. It is up to us to discover how to find joy, love, meaning, friends and our own family as gay men.

For the past 25 years, I have worked with gay men from all walks of life who have been blazing the trail for us with their own triumphs and struggles. As a young gay man, I found very little guidance on what it means to be a content gay man. It was clear, both then and now, that there are some big, and sometimes confusing differences between ourselves and other men. I’ve dedicated much of my professional career to understanding these differences and to pursuing the solutions to some of the more unique and perplexing problems of gay life that can hold us back from realizing our dreams for life and love.

At some point in our lives, each one of us can use some support and guidance. It has been my privilege to work with hundreds of gay men as a psychologist and coach who were truly eager to live lives without the influence of the corrosive shame that so many of us carry from our childhoods. In 2005, I originally published the book, The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man’s World, that chronicles much of my personal journey and learning about overcoming shame. The methods I use in working my clients are similar to the approach used by the best life coaches or therapists. I was trained as a psychologist and have many years of practice using tools like cognitive behavioral therapy (cbt) and dialectical behavior therapy (dbt). Because the coaching/consultation service I provide is over the internet, it best serves those whose individuals who are needing support or guidance with everyday life stressors associated with relationships, career or rediscovering the joy in life. The coaching format I use resembles the format of weekly, traditional psychotherapy sessions, the content of which are tailored to your specific needs in practical ways that psychotherapy often isn’t.

All sessions are one-on-one with myself and are conducted using confidential video conferencing software. Given the advances in this technology in recent years, video conferencing using a computer or smartphone is a very good option for people with busy lives. From the comfort of your confidential home or office, you meet with me for the consultation hour without the roundtrip travel time. For many clients who travel regularly for work or who reside in places other than Southern California, video conferencing provides an excellent and confidential alternative to traditional, in-person sessions. The charge per session is $150.00.